| This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, an overly complex earnings call of Bloomberg Opinion's opinions. Sign up here.  Diagramming this newsletter's sentences. Because this newsletter is written in language simple enough for a groggy second-grader to understand, you might think its writer is also simple-minded. But what may seem like smooth-brained gibberish is in fact crafted to build trust with you, the reader. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it, especially now that there is science to back it up. A study has shown that complex language on corporate earnings calls is associated with less-than-great investment returns, writes John Authers. Why, it's almost as if people use flowery talk to cover up the odor of their actual results.  John's column is great, and you should read the whole thing and also be wary of corporate leaders who answer simple questions by saying things like: "A chemistry is performed so that a chemical reaction occurs and generates a signal from the chemical interaction with the sample, which is translated into a result, which is then reviewed by certified laboratory personnel." You get one guess who said that. (Hint: rhymes with "Shmelizabeth Shmolmes.") But you also have to try out this site the researchers provide, which lets you plug in text and measure where it falls on the Gunning Fog Index, which is the best index name. The first two paragraphs of this newsletter, for example, clocked in at just slightly more complicated than Donald Trump's inaugural address. QED. One of the few positives about the past 18 months has been watching wages rise as companies try to lure workers from their couch-cushion forts. Unfortunately, prices have been rising at the same time, negating even this good thing, writes Noah Smith. Why can't we have nice things?  Workers may be content with their big nominal raises for a while. But if inflation sticks around for too long, then people will wise up and start demanding even higher wages, and then the economy starts to get all wage-price-spirally. Unfortunately, the medium-term outlook is not great for Team Transitory. Brooke Sutherland says industrial-sector CEOs are still seeing inflation everywhere, with supply-chain knots not untangling the way we'd all hoped. This also makes life more complicated for retailers, who are having to load up on stock ahead of the holiday shopping season, raising their costs, Andrea Felsted writes. For now, though, a combination of higher wages, pandemic savings, newsletters that tell you to blow your pandemic savings, and a thirst for revenge spending will probably let these retailers raise prices to match. For better or worse, no retail or factory job will ever pay as much as you can make influencing people to buy stuff on social media. This can pay better than many banking jobs. In fact, young people with an understanding of how money moves around are raking in the cash these days as "finfluencers," a word I hope never to have to type again. As well-meaning and above-board as some of these people may be, Paul Davies warns there will also be many who are the opposite of that and could lead their followers to huge losses. For now, it all seems very legal, Matt Levine writes, though actual bankers who moonlight as finfluencers — darn it! — can get in trouble trying to scrape up that extra cash. The JEDI debacle shows the government needs a better way of procuring tech. — Bloomberg's editorial board Maybe the problem is we haven't offered the reluctant enough money from our wallets to get vaccinated. — Stephen Carter We need an independent, nonpartisan inquiry into the Afghanistan defeat. — Eli Lake Afghan women are at growing risk of starvation, if they can't earn extra income for their families. — Ruth Pollard and David Fickling Frackers could actually help themselves by curbing methane emissions. — Liam Denning France shouldn't be shocked Australia turned to the U.S. and U.K. for its subs. — Dan Moss FDA advisers voted for Pfizer booster shots for older people. A study found the Pfizer vaccine's protection against hospitalization wanes over time. Apple mandated the vaccine for its workers. Future Martians could build bricks out of human blood. Scottish fish invented sex. A message in a bottle Japanese high school students sent 37 years ago washed up in Hawaii. How to clean your glasses.  Notes: Please send blood bricks and complaints to Mark Gongloff at mgongloff1@bloomberg.net. Sign up here and follow us on Twitter and Facebook. | 
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