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A unified theory of why you should go back to the office

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Today's Agenda

Your Daily Back-to-Office Affirmation

This newsletter was painstakingly composed over several difficult minutes in an Amazon-box fortress on a sprawling New Jersey estate. But there's a very good chance you're reading it in an office, or on your way home from an office. 

There's also a very good chance you have only recently resumed showering, grooming, dressing and commuting into said office after a long absence. That means there's also a very good chance you thought to yourself, at some point in that laborious process: "Wait, why am I doing this again?"

Great question! You sure aren't doing it to get more work done. That's why God created Amazon-box fortresses. The reason you are going back into your office, Sarah Green Carmichael writes, is to demonstrate to yourself, your co-workers and your paycheck-signers that work is important enough for you to shower, groom, dress and commute for it every once in a while. It's team-building. It's virtue-signaling, but for money. Sometimes there's free cake. It's worth a try.  

Are We Down With CPTPP?  

It's easy to forget this, because Donald Trump made it all about himself as usual, but opposition to the Asian trade pact formerly known as TPP was at first kind of a left-wing thing. President Barack Obama joined the deal, but Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren and others on the left blasted it. Hillary Clinton had to disavow it after first praising it. Trump left it.

Now there's a successor pact, the CPTPP, and President Joe Biden has a chance to join it. Perhaps unsurprisingly, given the history, he isn't exactly jumping at the chance. But maybe he should, suggests Bloomberg's editorial board. Ignoring the deal signals to Asian allies that America doesn't care about them. China, meanwhile, is taking steps to join and could influence Asian trade and sway the region against the U.S. Biden should try to negotiate away the deal's flaws and then join it, not ignore it.

So You Want to Be a Crypto Millionaire

Naturally, when a person sees all the money to be made, then lost, then made, then lost again in crypto, their thoughts turn to starting a hedge fund. They shouldn't bother, Shuli Ren warns. There's simply not enough money in it. It's not that most crypto funds lag Bitcoin, which they do, and which is kind of embarrassing. It's that there's simply not enough money invested in crypto — only $3.8 billion split between about 200 funds. That's not enough to cover even meager salaries, much less Lamborghinis for all.

That's got to be frustrating for the hedge funds, because there are crypto millionaires out there buying Lambos, enough to make a noticeable difference in Lamborghini sales, writes Chris Bryant. This would be the perfect moment for parent VW to ditch the company before it has to solve the difficult problem of electrifying these compensation rockets. But VW is taking the whole diamond-hands thing too much to heart. 

Further Crypto Reading: Central-bank coins will create new tiers of currency in each nation that adopts them. — Tyler Cowen 

Exxon's Sea Change

Exxon Mobil is the living embodiment of Big Oil and its history of climate denialism. That's why it's so shocking Exxon will soon have a board peppered with climate activists, the result of a stunning proxy-fight loss to an activist hedge fund. Matt Levine had previewed the vote by suggesting the hedge fund's approach showed signs of working. And work it did; though the votes are still being tallied, the only question left is just how many activists Engine No. 1 will get on the board. And yet this is also a victory for Exxon, or at least its future, greener, leaner self, writes Liam Denning. Change is hard, and Exxon might not like it at first. But it's for its own good. 

Telltale Charts

The stock market's boom under Biden has been obscured by the massive, lagging FANG stocks, writes John Authers. Adjust for them, and the market's real trend is clear. 

The 5G wireless race will mainly benefit the app makers (those massive, lagging FANGS), not the companies that run the pipes, writes Tara Lachapelle. Those poor saps are just paying up for spectrum and slashing prices for wireless service.

Further Reading

Senators had a rare chance to ask bank CEOs serious questions. You'll never guess what they did instead. — Brian Chappatta

Florida's new law punishing social-media companies for banning people (Trump) is unconstitutional. — Noah Feldman

The Belarusian hijacking is an unwelcome return of Cold War-era peril for commercial aviation. — David Fickling 

Most Japanese want the Tokyo Olympics canceled. They probably won't get their way. — Tim Culpan 

There's no evidence stock buybacks hurt wages. — Noah Smith 

Airbnb deleted my negative review for no apparent reason. Such shenanigans threaten trust in the site. — Tim O'Brien 

In St. Cloud, Minnesota, a police station/community house hybrid could be an answer to police reform. — Adam Minter 

ICYMI

JPMorgan Chase fired him for a trading goof. Later it made him CFO.

Canada's in no hurry to open the U.S. border.

Living on Mars won't be easy.

Kickers

Pot legalization is putting police dogs out of work. (h/t Scott Kominers

Your sunscreen may have benzene.

Ancient lines in an Indian desert may be the biggest drawings ever.

Little paper houses for you and me.

Tired: square meals

Wired:

Notes: Please send roundmeal and complaints to Mark Gongloff at mgongloff1@bloomberg.net.

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